|Image by Maya Chae|
Good for you, Goddamn it! Maya had far more than her share of both physical and emotional trials. I won't detail much of that except to say that she could barely walk at times, she who used to dance, who had been an athlete. The pain she experienced was extreme and outrageous. She struggled for over ten years to find ways to get better and become self-reliant again -- a most self-reliant soul, it hurt her just to have to depend on others for basic needs.
Maya was never a sob sister, never overly emotional, except in times of great crisis. I know she frustrated many health practitioners and helping folks, some to the point of anger at times. It so often seemed she would be doing great and then, within days or hours, there was another emergency, another dire need. It was hard at times not to ascribe this to some weakness of hers she should be able to fix, but I don't believe that was the case.
And, you know? That part is over. I want to just sing out Maya's beauty. She had a raucous sense of humor I am going to miss like crazy. She was so damn smart, if anyone past the veil of death is able to come back and read messages on the internet, it would be Maya. And now, the electro-magnetic pollution of being online won't be able to touch her. I like to believe she is thumbing her nose at all the triggers that kept shooting her down, over and over and over, while she was in that broken body.
Her artistic sensibilities and talents are also going to be badly missed. She shared so much with me (and with others also) of music, images, performance art she would find online that was both deep and experimentally edgy.
Ah not even that says what I want to say though. Her soul, her spirit, had that flashfire we all need a hell of a lot more of on this planet. She was an activator. She could blow you right out of your complacency with a phrase or a joke cracked at the expense of whatever pretense was sludging up the works that day.
That she stuck it out as long as she did tells me she loved her life, she claimed her life, she wanted to be here. She had a period, while the Occupy movement was a central event, of talking about her idea of Occupy Body -- that we all needed to Get Here, to occupy our bodies for real and true and stop going about like the dumb sheep we often behave like, sleeping our way through life.
So, I'm not going to say rest in peace, Maya. I'm saying, you dance, girl, you dance on.
Flash on through the stars. I can still see you.
|Psychopomp. Image by Maya Chae|