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Monday, December 30, 2013

On Down the Road

Road. Photo by Kyla
Some eons ago, back in October, I wrote about feeling that I was at a juncture where all bets were off and any preparations I might have made were clearly irrelevant. (Turn Turn Again is that post.)

I thought that would be a temporary sensation but oddly, life still feels exactly that way to me. There's a sense of riding the planet through space, in unknown territory; the sensation of great change occurring but all of it outside my perceptual reach; and the sensation that the momentary shifts of day-to-day are barely related to what's really happening.

I suppose I could also say that it feels like ordinary reality is getting thinner and thinner. Threadbare, in fact.

Everybody Try Flying is one year old as of December 27. A number of projects I intended for this space have failed to come to fruition, but it has continued to seem worthwhile to post remarks from time to time.

The posts that have received the most attention during this first year are these:

How to Grow Wings, Part I

Grab Hold

It's Okay to be Ordinary  (which, oddly, got more attention than the companion post, "It's Okay to be Weird.")

How to Grow Wings, Part II

A Clearing Meditation Script

and, the second in that series,
II: Meditation to Strengthen Your Core




Because of the ongoing sense of deep and profoundly unpredictable change, I have considered closing the blog until some more reliable sense of direction might arise. But even doing that feels premature.

So for the time being, we go on down the road. Perhaps ill equipped, perhaps lost in some way, perhaps on the verge of some unimaginable change that will, when it arrives, feel perfectly ordinary and inevitable. My bet is on that last possibility.

Someone suggested I write something about comfort zones, and growing by stepping past them. But for me this past year has been one of having one comfort zone after another completely obliterated by events. Right now a good comfort zone would be more than welcome.

There are many stories I have not yet told, because the time is not ripe for that, and because some of them are likely to become irrelevant.

Threadbare. Photo by Kyla
There is one conclusion I have drawn that I'll try to share. Everything I have done in my life, from the time I reached late adolescence, has been in reaction to discovering the wrongs in this world. I felt I must respond. I felt I must find a way to actually have a beneficial effect upon what looked to me (and still does) so very broken and in need of care and healing.

This put me on a journey that has taught me many things, but if I have managed to improve general conditions in any situation, I have not seen evidence of that. I know I have given benefit, and helped some people, and given value, but the situations I have hoped would show improvement have not.

I went down quite a rabbit hole on this journey, and ended up for a few years believing that certain esoteric work was what was needed to effect the changes I still seek, changes that will show up in less suffering and more harmony for the beings in this world.

I have to say that that particular set of efforts now appears to me to have been as much a waste of time as political activism was. Given what was undertaken, I would expect there to be some evidence in surface experience that benefits have accrued.

I see no such evidence. I am not sure what this means but I suspect it means that, as often happens, our good will and good efforts simply do not reach the goals we aim them toward, and sometimes we are even used to accomplish ends we know nothing of.

Perhaps the benefits we generate are simply, like the changes I sense, still outside our perceptual fields. I am withholding judgment.

The basic principles I've expressed here during this past year are still ones I hold true. Each of us is a creative being with more to us than we have any inkling of, in this limited sphere, and whenever and however we manage to tap into that raw current, we can do miraculous things. I still intend to encourage that among us.

I still believe it is our salvation. If we have one.

If we really need one.

Time is rather famously non-linear, yet that road stretches out in front of us still.

I hope you'll walk beside me for a while longer.

Happy New Year.


6 comments:

  1. You've generated some benefit in my field *purrs*

    <3

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    Replies
    1. Aw, thanks, pal. And you in mine, for realz. xo

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  2. Happy 1st Birthday! While my following has waxed and waned in tan tum with the flow of my life, I thank you.
    I thank you for your sincere pondering, for putting your thoughts and feelings on the table, for being willing to engage your creative fires, and for inviting us to join in. I cannot say how, exactly, it has benefited the greater scheme of things. I can only say, I "feel" the shift and the support that your blog has generated...all around. Thanks Kyla! xo

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    1. Debbie! What a lovely thing to say, and what a delight to see you here.

      Yep, I guess I'll keep trying flying for a while longer. xoxox

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  3. You have a great blog!! Congrats on 1 year wow!

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    Replies
    1. Hey there! Thank you! It's been a joy to write this blog. I'm still in a slow period and not posting very often, but I'm still here and will no doubt have more to say. :) Your blog has some inspiring energy to it also, CeeCee, and I wish you very well! *HUGS*

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